Help Me To See
by Kateriel79
Summary: Kateriel and Alistair go hunting together while venturing in the Brecilian Forest. Danger lurks in the shadows of the trees and soon the pair finds themselves stranded in the wood for the night, alone together. This story is a one-shot, set during DA:O, during our Warden's quest to stop the blight. Written from Kateriel's POV


**A/N: This story was written from a prompt I received from my brilliant and talented friend and beta, Raven Sinead. She challenged me to write it in first person from Kateriel's POV. I accepted the challenge and here is the result. It was fun for me as I have not (yet) written Kateriel and Alistair's story during Origins, which is when this story takes place.**

 **I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 **GROWING TOGETHER**

Creators! He smelled amazing! Leather and metal mixed with sweat and some unique, musky scent that must belong to his skin alone. It was very masculine and it made my insides flutter in ways that I was still getting used to.I realized that I could smell his scent because my face was so close to his neck. I pulled back slightly and turned my face forward, hoping he couldn't see the slight flush I felt in my cheeks. I couldn't see where we were going but I trusted Alistair to find us safe shelter for the night.

I forced my mind to focus on something else, replaying the events that brought us to this point:

 _After we had arrived at the Dalish camp, we spoke to Keeper Zathrian. He told us of the troubles his clan was facing and we agreed to help them. I had not been completely surprised to hear of the werewolves, as my own Keeper had told us that the creatures sometimes caused trouble in this part of the Brecilian Forest. My clan had always avoided it, preferring to travel through other, safer, parts of the woods. Thus, I was not familiar with this area and was very excited to explore it for the first time._

 _I decided we should set out immediately, not wanting to lose any time in our ever pressing quest against the blight. There was still daylight and I intended to make use of it. I selected a few companions to go with me, while the others remained to set up camp at the edge of the Dalish encampment. We searched for signs of werewolves and soon found a small group where the forest streams met. I was more than a little confused when one of them spoke to me. I was even more confused by what it said. It told us that the Dalish brought their trouble upon themselves and that we should ask Zathrian if we wanted to know why. The werewolves ran off and we did not pursue them. Something inside me said that I needed to find out more about what was going on._

 _Our group searched the forest a little further, trying to find evidence of the werewolves' lair. Unfortunately, we stumbled into a ring of maleficar in the process of some dark ritual. A battle began, ending with all the maleficar dead, except one who got away. Feeling that we had done enough for the day, I lead the group back to camp._

 _My other companions had our tents set up and a fire going by the time we returned. Our supplies were low and I would not ask the elves to provide us with food, as the clan hunted to provide for themselves. We would do the same. I borrowed Leliana's bow and a few arrows and informed the others that I was going hunting. Archery wasn't my strongest skill but I could shoot fairly well and I was looking forward to some practice._

 _As I headed for the trees, Alistair called out to me. "Do you mind if I go with you?" he asked, a warm smile forming on his lips. I forced my eyes to not look at those lips which seemed to have me entranced ever since he kissed me on our journey here after leaving Redcliffe. I inwardly grimaced, thinking of how his armour was a little noisy for hunting. But his eyes were so hopeful that I couldn't say no. I nodded in acceptance and was rewarded with a happy grin from Alistair that melted my heart into a gooey mess within my chest. I turned and led us into the forest, inwardly berating myself for the weakness I seemed to have developed for him._

 _I had intended to go hunting alone to sort out the many things that had been swirling around in my head, from our Grey Warden mission, to the civil war, to the werewolf mystery, but suddenly, now that I was alone in the woods with the man, all I could think about was Alistair._

 _I thought about when we first met, how confused I was by this human who seemed to make light of things one moment and be serious the next. His attractiveness was not lost on me, his handsome features and powerful, muscular body, even if he was human. The slight awkwardness he displayed at times was somewhat endearing. He was nothing like I expected a human to be; but then, I was finding that a lot of humans weren't what I expected._

 _Yet Alistair was unique in that he was so much better than most people I have ever met regardless of race. He was kind, compassionate, and caring; always believing in what is good and right. He was strong, brave, and valiant. The thing that I found most appealing of all was his sense of humour. He made me laugh, and my own playful side bloomed in his company. Tamlen and I used to laugh and joke, but there had been few others that I felt I could be like that with. Because of Alistair's acceptance and encouragement, I soon found myself freely laughing, teasing, and joking not only with him, but with all of my companions as I got to know them. It was a door he had opened, a part of my personality that I had hidden, and one which I would never close again._

 _He was always so accepting and never once treated me differently for being an elf. I found my attraction for him growing, deepening into something I was unsure of. I started to feel acutely aware of him whenever he was near._ _It was as if every sense was trained on him. My eyes often drifted his way and I was always aware of where he was in camp, or in a room, or on the road. We always battled side by side or back to back, consistently aware of the other in combat._ _I knew I cared for him very much, but the feelings I had were growing stronger and were very new to me. I had only just begun to develop feelings for Tamlen when disaster took him from me. To top it off, I wasn't sure if my feelings for Alistair were wrong or not. Alistair was shemlen and even though I'd come to feel very differently about humans, the idea of becoming enamoured with one was almost frightening._

 _Worst of all, as my esteem for him grew, were the doubts that questioned my sufficiency to gain and hold his affection. He was human, amazing, and gorgeous. Not to mention that he had the blood of human royalty in his veins. Who was I to develop feelings for him and hope that he could return them? Not that I demeaned myself at all but I was aware that I was not beautiful, refined or lady-like. He deserved someone who could charm him, someone as beautiful as he, who could capture his heart and hold it always. These thoughts began to plague me at camp, especially when I would see him chatting happily and laughing with Leliana. I couldn't help the ridiculous pang of jealousy but I would burn it away by reminding myself that she was exactly the kind of person he should be attracted to. She was beautiful, charming, and sweet, just like him._

 _But then, I realized, he flirted with me, and that was NOT something he did with anyone else. And damn me if I couldn't resist flirting back. Also, I could have sworn I overheard him asking Leliana for advice on what to do if he was interested in someone. It seemed that was probably not something he'd ask Leliana if he was interested in her. Plus, the attention and compliments he paid me were not something I could simply ignore. The thought of him returning my feelings, of being attracted to me (he did say he thought I was beautiful), was a heady thing to say the least._

 _Finally, after reviving the Arl of Redcliffe and journeying to find the Dalish, one night at camp he confessed to caring deeply for me, and said he hoped that I felt the same way. My breath had been stolen from my lungs but I managed to admit that I believed I did. Then he leaned down and placed his lips upon mine and I felt a explosion happen from within me, which flooded to my every extremity; the only thing that kept be from flying to pieces was my skin. My body acted on its own, as my mind had gone completely numb with every sense honed in on his lips – and was that his tongue? And mine dancing in response? Creators have mercy!- against mine, and my hand reached up to caress the back of his head while my other snaked around his back to pull him closer._

 _And thus desire bloomed in me like a blossom of fire which I had never known existed. I had known attraction but had never experienced such desire, want, or need as I had begun feeling for Alistair. It was very powerful and it made me a little uneasy. I had always respected things that were powerful, knowing that they were not to be taken lightly. This was a new sensation and I knew I needed to gain control over it. Yet, whenever he was close enough it was like my skin wanted to crawl off my bones, slink its way over to him and wrap itself around him._

 _Finally, with great effort, I pushed all these thoughts out of my mind and focused on the hunt. It was a great exercise for training my mind and body to focus on the tasks at hand despite Alistair's proximity. We'd wandered into an area that we had not yet explored. I'd shot a few hares and was tracking a nug, Alistair managing to follow while, remarkably, rarely making a sound. It was beginning to get dark and I was about to suggest we go back as soon as I found the nug, when suddenly I heard the whispers of an incantation. Before I could react, blackness filled my vision. I had been hit by a blinding spell._

" _We'll teach you for interfering in our affairs and murdering our brethren!" a voice screeched._

" _Alistair," I called out trying not to panic and drawing my weapons, "I can't see!"_

 _I heard him curse and suddenly I was yanked sideways as a blast of heat blew by my head. I could only assume it was a fire ball or something. "Alright, I'll try to guide you," he sounded unconvinced and spoke quickly. "There are three maleficar. Duck!"_

 _I dropped quickly, and stood again as I felt Alistair move beside me. I heard grunting and growling sounds and Alistair informed me that one mage had transformed into a bear. Fortunately, the mage-bear made so much noise that I knew exactly where it was. I stabbed out with my sword. It must have struck it because it roared in pain. I strained my ears to listen to its heavy foot falls, trying to determine its movements. A blast of cold pierced my shoulder and I ground my teeth as I growled in pain. Luckily, I wore a ring that reduced cold magic or the damage would have been worse._

" _Alistair," I called, "You can't fight them from a distance. Leave me and get them!"_

" _What?" he asked in alarm, "You can't be serious!"_

" _Do it!" I commanded._

 _I heard him give his war cry as he charged off. I focused again on the footfalls of the mage-bear. It was too heavy and clumsy to be quiet. Back foot right, back foot left, front foot left...I raised my dagger to block a swipe from its right paw. I ignored the pain as one of its claws scratched my arm and I thrust out my sword with my other arm. It wasn't fast enough to move out of the way and I struck it again, in what I imagined was its shoulder. It retaliated with a left paw swipe which caught my inner right thigh as I tried to move. Its claws scratched down my thigh and the force of the blow twisted my knee._

 _I cried out in pain, my leg giving out and I dropped to my knee. I heard the bear roar above me, higher than it should have been and I knew it had reared up, preparing to bring a blow down on me with both paws. But I also knew it had left its stomach exposed. With both weapons, I thrust forward as fast as I could manage, burying them deep inside the bear's middle. It roared as it doubled over and I rolled out of the way. It crashed down to the ground and soon I heard, not the noises of a bear but the gurgling and gasping of a human. Then the only sound was footsteps coming closer._

" _Alistair?" I asked nervously._

" _Kateriel! Are you all right?" he asked and I could hear the alarm in his voice, "Maker's breath! Look at your leg!"_

 _I couldn't help the laughter that burst forth at his words. "I can't," I reminded him, "I still can't see." I moved my hand to touch my leg but hesitated as I didn't know where to touch. I felt his hand on my outer thigh and I jumped instinctively, not out of fear or discomfort but because it was his hand...so high up on my leg..._

" _I'm sorry," he said, pulling his hand away and I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. "I didn't mean...I just wanted to make sure..."_

" _It's all right," I breathed out, and smiled, shyly, "You just surprised me."_

 _He gently placed his hand on my thigh again and grasped my ankle with the other hand. He pulled my ankle sideways trying to tilt my leg to get a better look at the scratches and pain stabbed white and hot through my knee. I cried out and felt his hands leave my leg again._

" _Maker! I'm sorry!" he cried out, sounding remorseful. I imagined him kneeling before me, looking miserable and anxious, and scrubbing a hand across his face and through his hair._

 _The image made me smile. "It's all right," I assured him, "I think my knee is sprained." I reached around to the pouch at my side, attached to my belt. We hadn't brought healing potions, not thinking we'd need them, but when I was being trained as a hunter I was taught to never go hunting without an injury kit. I felt for a roll of bandages and a small vial of cleansing salve. I held them out to him._

 _He didn't take them and once again I imagined the look on his face, one of uncertainty. "I need you to bandage my leg, Alistair. I can't see to do it for myself," I reassured him, "It's all right if it hurts, I know you wouldn't purposefully hurt me. It's painful regardless."_

 _I felt his fingers on mine and he took the bandages and salve from me. I heard him open the vial. I gingerly turned my leg as best I could to expose the claw marks. A gentle, callused hand supported my leg from the outer thigh. His touch sent fire through my leg, a good fire, and it reached all the way to my heart making it beat a little faster. Then his fingers were gently applying the salve to the wounds on my inner thigh. It stung at first, making my breath catch but it was the gentle stroking of his fingers that made me hold it in. I wished I could see his hands on my skin, but I could only picture it, which was fortunate, as I imagined it was far less appealing to see it in reality with all the blood._

 _What was more, I knew he knelt close to me, bent over my leg to see it properly. I could hear his breathing; it was shaky and irregular. His hand left my inner thigh but returned soon to place the start of the bandage. He gently wound the bandage around my leg until my thigh was covered._

 _I heard him flop down on the ground next to me and sigh heavily. "I never did learn the 'cleanse area' skill that the Templars use." he said wearily, "It crossed my mind at the circle tower that I should still try to learn it, but then we had Wynne and she can do it so I forgot about it. It sure would come in handy now."_

" _The spell will wear off though, right?" I asked, suddenly feeling worried._

 _"Oh, yes," he said, quick to reassure me, "Especially since the mage that cast it is dead. But I don't know how long the effect will last, I'm afraid."_

 _The mention of the dead mages made me realize that I hadn't asked to see if he was injured. Guilt washed over me and I felt my face heat with embarrassment. "I apologize, Alistair," I said, "I didn't even ask if you were all right. I assumed you were as you didn't seem injured. You weren't hurt were you?"_

 _"I'm all right," he chuckled, "A bit of my hair got singed and I think my leg is burnt from a lightning bolt but I'm fine."_

 _I smiled in my relief. I didn't know what I would do if I lost him. The realization startled me but before I had time to really think about it, I felt his fingers tenderly caress my cheek. I jolted slightly in surprise at first but settled back where I was and noticed that he didn't pull his hand away, seeming to know that it was only because he startled me._

 _"I'm so glad you are all right. I mean...you know, for the most part," he said, with warmth, "I was really afraid for a bit there."_

 _"I was just thinking that I'm glad you're safe too," I confessed, leaning slightly into his touch and smiling._

 _"Well, I'm not sure either of us is 'safe', Kateriel," he said, withdrawing his hand. I heard him stand and his voice spoke from above me. "It's almost too dark to see and I imagine you can't walk on that leg. I can carry you but it doesn't matter since I don't know which way to go. I don't imagine that you know this forest so well as to guide me, do you?" I shook my head. "It wouldn't do any good anyway," he continued, "I won't be able to see anything soon."_

 _"Well, then we will need to make camp," I concluded, "I didn't want to mention it when we set out because I thought we'd be back in time but it's going to rain tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if it started soon."_

 _"Greeaat" Alistair said clearly not meaning it, "We need shelter too then. Well, we better get going before I can't see anything."_

 _Suddenly, his voice was very close to my face, his one arm around my waist and his other tucked under my thighs. "If I may, my lady?" he asked, humour lacing his words._

 _I smiled and nodded while mentally preparing myself for the pain of having my leg moved. I knew he was being as gentle as he could as he lifted me off the ground. I gritted my teeth and breathed out forcefully through them as pain stabbed my knee._

My reminiscence ended as my memories led me back to the present. It was beginning to rain; I felt the odd drop on my hair or skin. I barely noticed as I was once again distracted by the man in whose strong arms I was held. I could feel the heat of his body through his armour. It was appealing to me, as my own skin was often cool. I wondered if he was affected by me in the same ways.

Suddenly, he stopped walking and I turned my face back toward his, my expression asking my question. "We're in luck," he explained with relief in his tone. "There's a ruin..." he paused; his voice sounding like it had got caught in his throat. When he had begun to speak of the ruin he must have looked down at my face because his voice sounded much closer than it had at first. Much, much closer. I could feel his breath across my lips and my face flushed with heat. I heard him clear his throat before continuing. "There's a ruin just ahead. It appears that the arched entryway is still intact and part of the hall just beyond. The rest is caved in."

"Sounds perfect," I said, my voice having taken on a husky edge. I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't tried to kiss me again.

Maybe he didn't want to push me? Maybe he was just as nervous as I was? I remembered that he joked about surprising me with it. Maybe he wasn't joking? Or maybe he regretted it? Changed his mind about his feelings for me? These last thoughts turned my stomach and pierced my heart with fear and uncertainty.

The sounds of the forest changed slightly and I could tell we had entered into the ruin's archway. Alistair set me down carefully and before he pulled away, he placed a light kiss on my forehead. My heart skipped a beat as I smiled shyly, and whished very hard that I could see his expression.

He cleared his throat. "I'm going to run out and grab some wood before it starts to pour," he informed me, his words rushed. I heard his footsteps move away from me, across the stone floor, then muffled by the earth as he entered the wood.

His kiss still burned on my forehead but my heart felt relieved. Clearly he hadn't changed his mind about me. All these emotions I'd been experiencing were almost exhausting and I was grateful that I had a moment alone to think. My feelings for him were clearly deeper than I realized. The fear that I had felt at the thought of having lost his admiration, and the relief I felt upon discovering that I hadn't, clearly showed how important he had become to me. Most important of all was the devastation I knew I would suffer if anything happened to take him away from me. It was slightly unsettling.

How would I know if he felt the same way? There was a difference between physical attraction and having true affection for a person for who they are. The big problem was that there was always the possibility of one of us, or both, being killed. I couldn't let my feelings change anything or distract me from my quest or my duties. I resolved within myself to remain balanced.

I heard footsteps approaching and tensed for a fight, just in case. "It's all right. It's just me," I heard Alistair's voice and breathed a sigh of relief. I listened as he made a fire, hating being useless without my sight. The hares I had caught were still attached to my belt, having, miraculously, not been lost in the battle against the maleficar. Alistair took and cleaned them, proceeding also to cook them for us.

"Are we having charred rabbit tonight?" I asked with a playful smile.

"Ha ha," he replied lightly, matching me with banter of his own, "Maybe I'll just burn _your_ portion."

We talked casually while he cooked, our conversation broken occasionally by comfortable silence as we listened to the rain pour outside of our little hideaway. I couldn't help but enjoy the situation, aside from my blindness. It was just the two of us there, enjoying each other's company. Eventually, he declared the meat cooked.

"Open your mouth and close your eyes," he began and I could hear the laughter in his voice, "Oh, wait..."

"Alistair!" I laughed and took a blind, playful swipe at him.

He laughed and caught my wrist gently. "Seriously though, open up," he instructed.

I complied and he placed a piece of meat in my mouth. It was not charred, it was perfect. "Mmmm..." I complimented the cook.

"Oh, good. I cooked it right," he said, "I tried really hard, you know."

"You did well," I chuckled, "But you know, I can feed myself."

"But this is more fun," he replied, waving a piece of meat under my nose.

I shrugged in response and opened my mouth for him again and he slipped the meat inside. His fingers brushed my lips lightly as they pulled away. I felt warmth grow in my heart, in my core, and in my cheeks. I chewed and swallowed, and I suddenly had the image in my mind of his eyes fixed on my lips and my face flushed even more. I hoped he didn't notice but knew it was highly unlikely.

"Want some more?" he asked, but there was a change in his voice. It had taken on a deeper, huskier tone.

I swallowed, even though my mouth had gone dry. I leaned forward slightly and parted my lips a little, waiting for the next bite to touch my lips. Warm, soft lips closed over my own and I inhaled deeply in surprise and the sudden desire that ignited my veins. I didn't pull away in the slightest, instinctually reaching out and grasping the collar of his breast plate, holding him close. Alistair groaned deep in his throat and the sound sent shivers down my spine. He reached up and placed a hand at the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair. Alistair deepened the kiss and soon I found myself on my back with him half on top of me, being careful of my leg. I revelled in the feeling of his weight on my body, knowing that he did not rest his full weight on me, especially as we were both still in armour. His warmth and his scent surrounded me and I drank it in deeply.

Finally, he pulled away, both of us breathing heavily. There was silence for a moment and, once again, I was wishing I could see his face, so as to read his expression. Yet, when he finally spoke his voice was heavy with desire and tenderness, making my heart swell and my core flare with my own desire. "You're so beautiful, Kateriel," he breathed and I felt as though I couldn't. He'd stolen my breath away with his words and his tone, which told me he meant what he said. I could only smile with the immeasurable affection I felt for him and pulled him in for another kiss. After a few more minutes of fiery kissing, he pulled away again.

"I think we'd better stop," he said, stroking my cheek, "Let's finish eating and you should get some rest."

I insisted on splitting the watch and Alistair eventually relented. We rested with Alistair's back against the wall and me cradled between his legs, my back against his chest. We chatted quietly while feeding each other pieces of hare. I became aware that my sight was slowly returning, beginning with seeing the dim glow of the fire. Soon, much to my relief, I could see clearly again. I informed Alistair and he expressed his relief as well.

I looked up at Alistair's handsome face as he stared at the fire, the light making his eyes shine. My heart grew heavy and reverent. Had I fallen in love with him? I had never been in love before, how would I know? And what would I do if he didn't love me back? I decided to push the thoughts from my mind for the time being. I wanted to enjoy this moment. I would sort it all out later. In the morning we would find our way back to camp, where I was sure our companions were concerned for us. For now, I was simply happy to be wrapped in Alistair's arms; his face the last thing I saw before drifting off to sleep.


End file.
